Do you bleed fluorescent green?! Does your piss have a half-life of 2.5 bajillion years? Did your significant other grow a tail after making out with you for the first time?! That's gnar brah!!! Nuclear Gnar!!

I Do My Own Stunts

You fall out of bed. You trip down the stairs. You pick up a tray full of drinks and walk into the patio door. You step on a rake. You ride Your bike into a mailbox. You lean back in Your chair, fall, and bonk Your head on a fish tank. The glass breaks. aquarium water and flopping fish rain down on you. Embarrassing moments? nah. Just put on Your wrap gs and act like it's intentional as You saucily quip, "i do my own stunts".

Scream If You Hate Gravity 

Remember when you were young and carefree and your boobs used to stand up and say hello when you walked into a room instead of staring shyly at the floor?! Remember when you could take a walk without playing hacky sack with your own sack?! Us too!!! f*ck gravity!!!! Relive your perky past by embracing some exxxxxtreeeeeme sports and exxxtreme wrap g sunnies. Jump out of that plane with your middle fingers blazing and scream if you hate gravity!!!